We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
