Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
