I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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