So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
