Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
It's official drugs can't kill me
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
