no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
