the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
