There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
