sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
