everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
