I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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