At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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