You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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