this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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