so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
