I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
