God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
