I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
