Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
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