we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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