Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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