do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
