It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
