please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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