I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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