Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
