I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
