Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
