i just had sex bonerless
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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