Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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