We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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