What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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