Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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