We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
