May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
