Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
