i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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