my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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