Yo dont text me then not text me
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
