she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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