I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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