break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
