Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Randomize
