what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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