I slept with him to see his dog one last time
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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