Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
