She's JV to your varsity
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
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