3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
