dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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