dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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