***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
